"Ganga Ghat"

Sitting on the shores of river Ganges; its time my thoughts wander again ... Sipping a cup of tea from a plastic cup; watching my parents take a dip in the holy waters; reminds me of the childhood days. I used to come here every year during the summer vacations along with my cousins; those joyful days of innocent playfulness now seem to be memories of some bygone era. It was nothing more than water-sport for all of us; least bothered about the socio-religious sentiments associated.

Today is the last day of "Shraadha"; when Hindus come to Ganges to say good-bye to the spirits of their fore-fathers. But, once again, its not the occasion which is on my mind. Its the return to this place which is far more relevant. Having spent almost over 3 years in the silicon valley of India, the only thing which I have been able to remember ever since, has been deadlines and deliverables; Time-to-market and Dollars; Frequency and performance! There was hardly any time to sit back and enjoy a cup of tea; to introspect and see how far I have come and what has been left behind! I don't even remember when was the last time I came here; but what I can never forget is my dad's faith on these waters. He is no orthodox man by any means; nor he believes in any rituals, but his faith is unquestionable. Every single occasion that has happened in our family; big or small; has been followed by a trip to the Ganges. And this makes me feel even more nostalgic and dumb; that I didn't think about this place even once in last three years!!

I am looking at people all around me; taking a bath, lighting lamps in remembrance, offering flowers and scented sticks to the river stream; everyone wishing for the blessings of their ancestors and the Goddess Ganges. And I am still trying to comprehend the meaning of all this!!! Looking at all these people and their faith, I cant help but think why does this mob come here? Probably because they feel happy and find some solace due to their faith .... And geeks like me are always looking out for a source of happiness.... I wonder Why we pursue happiness when it is present all around us in the smallest of things like these?? There are still a million dreams to chase, a thousand desires to fulfill, my soul still looking for its mate---however, I don't want to pray to have these dreams realized; rather I want to pray to goddess to give me the strength to pursue my dreams; in fact; to give me humility and humbleness to appreciate what I already have achieved! As I see my parents now, all soaked in water, I just want to say "Thank you" to them and to the Goddess.

This part of my life is called "Tradition" .... :)

"It wasn't as easy ....!!"

"Saurabh, I didn't know you too can get nervous!", she said, sitting next to me in a conference room on a vacation; both of us trying desperately to finish up our respective projects on time. I had just wrapped up a conference call; or rather a boardroom war, to be more precise. One of the biggest days of my life, the day when your opinion matters; the day when you know you have made the difference that you always wanted to; the day when you stand out; and not be a part of the crowd anymore! I owe every moment of today to my mentor; though I always wondered what he saw in me in the first place? But now, when I look at her, I think I probably can see what he saw. And today she, with her aura of charming innocence, is a witness to all this .... is this another usual prank God is playing with me?

Her question created an avalanche of flashbacks: Days, when a small-town boy landed in Bangalore with absolutely no money; my dad had withdrawn some money for me from his bank account; only to lose it due to his (and mine) naivety! Days of my first month here; when I just waited and waited for my first salary! Days in school; when my mom always used to give lectures about my well-settled/foreign-returned cousins! Days in college, when I had resisted my temptations to "splurge" on canteens and trips! Days after college, when I started doubting my abilities while looking at my friends getting into big MBAs or US-based univ! Days in office, when my mentor used to give me the most difficult assignments amongst all the team mates and I used to mess things up only for him to step in and sort it out! Days, when I used to miss those weekend get-aways with my friends; only to attend some ridiculous data review with "experts"!

Borrowing that line from "The Pursuit of Happyness"; when Martin Frohm asks Chris Gardner, "I guess it wasn't as easy as it seems?" Right now, I probably feel the same way as Chris might have ... Only that there is no background score!

"Saurabh, you OK?" , her interruption broke this chain of cinematic events! I told her that I am just too happy, while trying to clear that drop of dew in my eyes; right now I am just standing behind her chair with my hands trembling and my eyes wet trying to still find an answer to her question: "Do I ever feel nervous? Or was it that easy?" I can only smile at this point; with so much going on in my head!! Never in my life did I say a word when I went through those phases; and I can't think of anything to say even right now. That's just not me! However, I wish that there is a voice in the background , just like the movies, which says "You have no idea, my dear :)!!"

The case of the emerald ring

Don't get freaked out by the Arthur C Doyle style of title.. It's not another Sherlock Holmes story. It is the case of the emerald ring that I have been wearing for quite some time now...

One of my female colleagues asked me a very relevant question the other day: "Saurabh, do you believe in all this? Stones etc?" And I replied; "No dear, My mom gave it to me and so, it doesn't matter whether I believe in it or not!" She gave me that perplexed look; and I realized I needed to be less cryptic ....

You see, the logic is very straight forward:
Case-1: I believe in stones and their magic powers; and I am wearing this ring! Discussion ends here itself ...
Case-2: I don't believe in stones. And I don't believe they have any powers; they can't do any good to humans. But, with the same argument, they can't do anything bad to us as well. In that case, I should treat this ring as just another ornament. But what is of critical importance is the fact that there is some one who loves me and who believes that this little piece will bring me luck!! Someone who is trying her best to keep me healthy and cheerful.. Now based on her affection and my belief (or the lack of it); the chances of me gaining anything by voicing out my disagreement over this issue are very less. Rather, I might end up looking at that heart-broken expression on my Mom's face ... So the stakes of my happiness going away; by my speaking my mind; are very high!!! And hence, the argument ends .... It doesn't matter if I believe in it or not ... There are certain other things which are more important than voicing my opinion!!!

" Satyam Shivam Sundaram" : Only the truth which has an element of Shiva (i.e. goodness) is beautiful. Truth which brings pain and discomfort; is ugly!

Do I still sound like one philosopher or are you still as perplexed as my colleagues was?

A tale of two romances ...

Actually 4! Coz one of the two movies I watched as part of my usual "weekend routine"; had 3 romantic stories .... And even though BAH had its moments; I didn't get the point of the story (Sorry for being sleepy at the time of watching the movie, but it wasn't entirely my fault)! Despite having a huuuuuuuuuge crush on Deepika, I must confess that it was Bipasha; that made me survive the entire duration of an otherwise "awwww"-inspiring movie. Those inclined to invest their precious time and money into this movie may do well to not even attempt watching the other two stories... After last week's Singh-is-King misadventure; I need to get some more inspiration to watch the current bollywood "block-busters"!!!

Another half of my "packed" weekend was watching the 2006 classic, "Stranger than fiction". Having watched some of the earlier works of Will Farrel; I presumed it will be another one of those "below-the-belt" kind of movies. And I could not have been any more wrong!! For a change, this guy wasn't Will Farrel. He was Harold Crick; someone who realizes that his life is a part of a novel being written by an eccentric novelist who generally prefers to kill her protagonist. I loved the narration, I loved the sweetness of this man, someone who knows that he is going to be killed very soon; because the story of the novel demands so! He is someone who buys 10 bags of flour(yes; not flowers) to his baker girl-friend. This was just so touching; so romantic!!! And the scene where he goes to the author and asks her to "finish" the story; it may just wet your eyes (that's what it did to me)...... All you ladies out there, this is one man you would certainly wanna love :). He is no stud, no hunk; just someone who is himself: sweet and unassuming!

Waiting for my next weekend now; which might just happen to be in the Holy Land.... Jerusalem, Here I come!! :)